Daniel's Blog
Love is not Irritable
Submitted on Monday, March 15.
“He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.” – Proverbs 16:32
Love is hard to offend and quick to forgive. How easily do you get irritated and offended? Some of us live by the saying, “Never pass up an opportunity to get upset with your spouse”. Why do people become irritable?
1) Stress. Stress weighs you down, drains your energy, weakens your health, and invites you to be cranky. We find it within our relationships by arguing, division, and bitterness. We find it by overworking, overplaying, and overspending. We find it by having a lack of rest, nutrition, or exercise. All of these are contributors of stress and thus irritability. However, most of them can be avoided. Finding balance and proper priorities within life are essential to reducing irritability. Check out these scriptures: Colossians 3:12-14; Philippians 4:6-7; Exodus 18:17-23; Proverbs 25:16.
2) Selfishness. Irritability is usually found and resolved by matters of the heart. Selfishness can become an instigator of many other problems that cause detriment to relationships. Lust – the result of being ungrateful for what you have and choosing to covet or burn with passion for something that is forbidden. Bitterness – takes root when you respond in a judgmental way and refuse to work through your anger. Greed – the desire for more money and possessions will frustrate you with unfulfilled desires. Pride – leads you to act harshly in order to protect your ego and reputation.
Ask yourself these questions: Where do you need to add down-time to your life? When have you recently overreacted? What was your real motivation behind it? What decisions have you made today?
Dare – Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. List any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.
Love is not Rude
Submitted on Wednesday, March 03.
“He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him.” – Proverbs 27:14
If anyone has yelled at you early in the morning with no apparent reason, you know how irritating it can be. My family knows not to mess with me in the morning, or at least until I get my coffee. This is a small illustration of being rude. As you know, we could list many many more rude encounters, but for the sake of time, I think you get the picture. No matter how you look at it, no one enjoys being around a rude person. Whether it is someones mouth, manners, or sarcastic quips, rudeness can quickly irritate the receiving party. What’s more, we have all been one of these rude individuals at some point. Whether it was intentional or innocent, the result is still the same. Under the umbrella of marriage, good manners express to your spouse, “I value you enough to exercise some self-control around you. I want to be a person who’s a pleasure to be with.”
I can remember my mother getting on to my brother and I for having one of our regular spats. While she was fussing the phone began to ring. In just a quick moment my mother’s disposition changed completely, giving the caller a sweet, hospitable hello. It would be silly to think that we behave the same at home as we do in front of everyone else. However, that does not excuse being rude. Just a “Thank You”, “Please”, or “Your Welcome” can make a world of difference.
Dare of the Day – Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so WITHOUT attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.
Love Is Thoughtful
Submitted on Thursday, February 25.
“How precious also are Your thoughts to me…How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand.” – Psalm 139:17-18
Hello all! I apologize for the long absence this past week. Let’s see if we can get back in the swing of things.
Somewhere in our mind love is a feeling to be experienced and does not require thinking, almost like a mindless ride on emotion. However, thinking back on when I was dating Emily, all I did was think. Mind you, I was very much on a mindless ride of emotion at times 
. But for the most part, I spent my time “chasing” her. I thought of gifts, words of flattery, just about her. However, it is so easy for us to grow out of this infatuation of sorts. Instead, we begin to focus on our job, friends, problems, personal desires, ourselves. After a while, we can find ourselves unintentionally ignoring the needs of our spouse. That is when those surprising questions that never end well begin to frequent your relationship: “Today is our anniversary?” “Why didn’t you include me in that decision?” Don’t you ever thing about anyone but yourself?”
Thoughtlessness is a silent enemy to a loving relationship!
Dare of the Day – Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.
Reflection – How could this become a more natural, routine, and genuinely helpful part of your lifestyle?
Love Is Not Selfish
Submitted on Thursday, February 18.
“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.” – Romans 12:10
The culture around us teaches us to focus on our appearance, feelings, and personal desires as the top priority. However, this is dreadfully dangerous when it comes to relationships, especially marriages. If there were ever a word that was opposite of love, it is selfishness. Loving couples – the ones who are enjoying the full purpose of marriage – are bent on taking good care of the other flawed human they get to share life with. That’s because true love looks for ways to say “yes”. If you find it hard to sacrifice your own desires to benefit your spouse, then you may have a deeper problem with selfishness than you want to admit. Ask yourself these questions:
1) Do I truly want what’s best for my husband or wife?
2) Do I want then to feel loved by me?
3) Do they believe I have their best interest in mind?
4) Do they see me as looing out for myself first?
Remember! Your marriage partner also has the challenge of loving a selfish person. So determine to be the first to demonstrate real love to them, with your eyes wide open. You will both be more fulfilled.
“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves” – Philippians 2:3
Dare of the Day –
What ever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It’s hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with Restraining from negative comments,
buy your spouse something that says, “I was thinking of you today”.
Love is Kind
Submitted on Wednesday, February 17.
“Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” – Ephesians 4:32
We learn from Proverbs 31:26 the story of a woman with “noble attributes”. We can learn from similar stories in the Bible about kindness and the benefits of such kindness in relationships. So, I challenge you to evaluate yourself with these questions: How would your husband or wife describe you on the kindness meter? How harsh are you? How gentle and helpful? Do you wait to be asked, or do you take the initiative to help? Don’t wait for your spouse to be kind first!
So what is kindness and in what ways can we express our kindness? First, we need to be GENTLE. How we respond to questions, requests, or simply how we act around our spouse. We send messages loud and clear when we become short, snippy, and just down right rude. Second, we need to be HELPFUL. Whether it is a listening ear or doing housework we need to be helpful. When we become serving instead of demanding service, we become appreciated. Third, we need to be WILLING. It is easy to do something just because someone asks but how we respond to a request reflects our care for someone. Finally, INITIATIVE goes a long way in a relationship. If we wait until we are asked to do something, it seems as if we are not in tune with what is going on. Take initiative to do something before your spouse asks you.
Dare #2 – “In addition to saying nothing negative to your spouse again today, do at least one unexpected gesture as an act of kindness”
